My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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