Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
