Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
