Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
