She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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