Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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