Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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