i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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