You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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