It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
