They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
