used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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