yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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