Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Welp...herpes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
