You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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