and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
