The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
