she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
