Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dear god my vagina.
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