Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
