i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well you can't waste a boner
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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