how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
