I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
