This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
