Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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