Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
