I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to have your abortion
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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