you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
