I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize