Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
