I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
