3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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