they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
