i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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