the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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