i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
