ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
