If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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