when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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