there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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