Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
