New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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