Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
