shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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