Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
