He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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