DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize