i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
