Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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