Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
