This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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