You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
