i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
