Kiss
Puke
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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